![]() This can occur in normal, seemingly calm situations when trauma is triggered followed by a potentially very intense trauma response. Attachment trauma or trauma, in general, feels completely out of control and a common trauma response is acting out in an effort to gain control. Doing so will allow you to see the events through a different lens which will help you understand it was not your fault and you are now in greater control of relationships.Ī key to resolving trauma is our control of the situation. #ATTACHMENT TRAUMA FULL#What exactly happened to you? It is possible you haven’t asked that question and you have never put the full story together. Reprocessing traumatic attachment memories may be helpful in the form of talk therapy, building a trauma narrative. We will discuss EMDR further in a later article. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) is a valuable tool in reprocessing and rebuilding your relationship with those traumatic memories. You may need to revisit your relationship with your trauma. Learning or relearning to trust in a relationship can require some work on your part. So how do you build a secure attachment as an older child or even as an adult? Attachment trauma can lead to extremely volatile and reactive behavior. They may push people who love them away in an effort to protect themselves from the hurt they have felt in the past. Someone who has experienced attachment trauma is likely resistant to close relationships. Attachment trauma is most common among children who spend time in the foster care system but can occur with the loss of a parent or meaningful relationship. Other divorces are not as civil and often leave the child feeling alone and full of mistrust. Not all divorces are created equal, some parents separate and do an excellent job of continuing to show their children trust and love, despite their separation. This attachment trauma can also occur in an older child in a variety of relationships. The failure to build a secure attachment with parents can lead to a lifelong struggle with relationships. These negative events are traumatic for the child. This can occur in the form of an accident, natural disaster, or abuse. Trauma is our response to a negative event in which we feel trapped, hurt physically, or hurt mentally and emotionally. Unfortunately, many children seek a secure attachment with their parents and are met with discomfort in the form of neglect and abuse. In a healthy relationship environment secure attachment comes naturally. The Causes and Consequences of Attachment Trauma We draw on this attachment experience with our parents throughout our lives as we do our best to navigate new relationships with friends and partners. Children often run back to the safety of their mother or father’s arms when faced with a new and unsure situation. This builds trust and establishes a comfortable and safe place to return when a child is fearful or unsure of a situation. Luckily we are born with a mother and father who love and nurture the first relationship of our lives. Relationships with secure attachments give meaning and add value to our lives. Without relationships, it is difficult to find meaning and motivation in our daily activities and work towards major goals. Before addressing attachment trauma and its signs we must acknowledge that life is built on relationships. ![]()
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